...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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