Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize