u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
