he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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