thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
