My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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