Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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