I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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