That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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