do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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