i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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