Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
