yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
