i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
