One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
