party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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