I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
