my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
