I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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