Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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