Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize