i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
