Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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