I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
