There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
