dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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