Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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