I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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