My friends, they love my intelligence
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
