No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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