its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize