You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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