i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
