Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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