i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
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This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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