But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
its not stalking. its research.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize