I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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