I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
