how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
