Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
They have beer where we have blood.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
