Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
