This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
