I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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