Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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