Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize