she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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