LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize