I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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