no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
