I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
