Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
