the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
