Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
