I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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