His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
