someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
