I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
