this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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