i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
