ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
