So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
